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Halloween Costumes That Amp Up The Glamour; Are Still Suitably Creepy...

It's almost that time again! I adore Halloween - with one crucial exception. Halloween costumes are so easy to get wrong - either you go for full on fright mode, a la Heidi Klum, and send small children fleeing for the hills...

 

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Or, you style your Halloween look according to the Mean Girls' Cady Heron's observation, that "Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it"...

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Guys, this is so besides the point. Sexy costumes aren't scary, and isn't that the point of Halloween? All the same, (I'm looking at you, Heidi) - there's no need to deliberately look your worst, just for the hell of it.

This year, all that changes. This year, ladies, we're going to look creepy as hell - and glamorous in the process. So why not try one of the following?

1. Morticia Addams

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Oh, baby. You know if Angelica Huston played you in the movie, you're doing A-OK. Straighten your hair so it's Cher-from-the-70s straight and give yourself a severe centre parting and a black rinse. Grow your nails out so they're more like talons and paint them blood-red. Go drag queen heavy with the eye make-up, and adorn your hands with any number of costume rings. Finally, I give you permission to buy yourself a floor-sweeping, clingy black gown with a mermaid hem. Ta da! You are both terrifying (don't ever smile) and supremely, ridiculously glamorous. You're welcome.

2. Miss Havisham

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You know what's creepy about Miss Havisham? That a woman being alone was so terrifying that the most frightening figure in Dickens' Great Expectation was just some woman who was jilted at the aisle. I'm not saying you don't know women Dickens, but does anyone else think that maybe after a year or two Miss H probably started revelling in solo life, eating peanut butter from the jar with a spoon and reading trashy romance novels in the bath without risk of judgement?

Anyhow, great Halloween costume for married ladies and solos alike. If you're married, you've probably got a wedding dress knocking about - just powder your face heavily and add a white wig. Look despondent - yep, I know you've found eternal love, but just for me, practice that pout. If you're not married, you've probably always wanted to go wedding dress shopping minus the whole actual need to get married thing, so go crazy - get a vintage nightgown from the 20s for next to nothing on ebay and style it up. Finally, go all out and make a weird wedding cake, drape with fake cobweb. Funsville!

3. Cruella DeVille

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Cruella DeVille! Cruella DeVille! If she doesn't scare you, no evil thing will!

Ok, so, yes, she wants to skin adorable dalmation puppies for a fur coat, but hey, you can't deny her stylings are pretty damn awesome. To really go wild with this costume, I suggest to beg, borrow or steal some puppies and carry them around sinisterly. 

So what do you need, aside from adorable puppies?:

- Black and white hair dye and a willing friend/co-conspirator

- A faux fur coat (sorry guys, even for Halloween I'm not going to endorse fur)

- Tons and tons of costume jewellery - ideally, you should be dripping in diamonds, real or faux

- A cigarette holder

- Scarlet lips

4. The Lady of Shalott

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You don't know who the Lady of Shalott is? Damn, bet you're regretting skipping that English Lit degree now, huh?

In short, a mysterious curse traps this lady in a tower, where she weaves images on her loom, recording what she sees in the mirror (so, she never gets to actually look out the window - this is a convoluted metaphor for the fact that, like most of us who go home every night and mainline TV boxsets, the Lady is addicted to Art over and above LIFE). Eventually she spies a dynamic sex bomb, Lancelot, the curse is broken, she climbs into a boat and (SPOILER) dies picturesquely, floating down the lake. Spooky! Have I made you want to read the poem? If so, click here.

Great costume, because you get to be Sienna Miller circa 2001 without being at Glastonbury. Grow your hair to the ridiculous princess length you've always yearned for. Go to that ultra niche vintage store and buy one of those dresses with weird medieval not-very-practical flowy sleeves. Dye your hair auburn. Drape yourself with flowers. Ok, nobody's going to know who you are, but you'll still be the Most Awesome Person At The Party, and if that isn't the point, what is?

Have you got any other ideas for great, high octane glamour Halloween costume ideas? Don't be shy, send some our way in the comments below.

8 years ago