By info
More from this author

Why you so silly, journos? AKA The Weirdest Statements About Kate's Post-Baby Frock

As a lady with a passion for fashion, I'm always interested in what people are wearing. I say always. Always apart from when someone's just given birth, cos, y'know, they've just spawned life and exposed the mysteries of the universe, so maybe clothes aren't at the top of their list of priorities. With that in mind, I've been blown away by the excessive scrutiny of Kate n' Wills post their baby's birth. From normally faultless publications like The Guardian to the usual suspects (y'know who I'm talking about), the coverage of Kate and Will's choice of clothing has been bizarre to say the least. I think they're a lovely couple and all that, but do we really need to analyse the symbolism of Kate's, and I quote, 'cornflower blue' dress? I've compiled a list of the weirdest statements made, so we can all agree to Never Do This Again, ok, journalists? In the interests of fun, you get to guess which publication said what. Answers at the bottom of the page. Image (a) 'The new mother chose polka dots, her husband rolled his sleeves up - but both wore beaming smiles'. (b) About Kate's dress: 'The colour was clunkily literal. (One assumes there is a rose pink version hanging in a cupboard somewhere.' Don't you just hate it when you accidentally wear something that's clunkily literal coloured? So embarrassing. Image (c) 'Matching outfits...Diana and Kate both left hospital with their newborns wearing polka dot dresses'.  If they'd both left the hospital in jeans, would Kate's outfit still have been seen as a conscious tribute? Sadly, I rather suspect so. (d) 'As one of the most scrutinised women in the world - and at this most high profile moments with all the world watching - Kate would have laboured (no pun intended) over her outfit choice today.' (e)'Like Diana, Kate has the glamour-hair of her generation. Where Diana had her frosted and flicked fringe, Kate has her thick Disney waves. Good hair imparts glamour whatever you wear.' (f)'The cornflower blue was a nod, no doubt, to her baby's gender - the same gesture made by her mother during her own visit earlier in the day.' (g) More hair nonsense. 'The only thing left to chance was the weather, which obliged the Duchess anyway, a light breeze toyed with her freshly blow-dried hair as photogenically as any studio wind machine could have.' (h) 'The bespoke dress was made especially for what must surely have been one of Kate's happiest moments. We will of course never know if a pink version was made up, 'just in case'. (i) 'Diana opted to wear flats, while Kate braved heels for her first appearance following the birth of her baby son.' Braved! Tee hee. (j) A fan of wrap dresses, blazers, knee length coats and block colours, there was much speculation about which designer the Duchess would choose to wear when she left hospital.' How does her being a fan of knee length coats tie in? Are we assuming that she would have left hospital in nothing but a Burberry trench coat and a smile? (k) 'Other polka-dot items including high-waisted shorts, chiffon skirts, vest tops, bikinis and ballet pumps also saw a boost in sales overnight.' (l)'Shop Like New Mum Kate! We've Got Your Polka Dots.' Guys, pick your style icons wisely. Sure, Kate's hella chic, but do we really want to look like someone who's just given birth? What are we going to do, start wearing a cushion strapped to our stomachs? Answers: (a) The Telegraph, (b) The Guardian , (c) The Sun, (d) The Daily Mail, (e) The Guardian (f) The Daily Mail, (g) The Telegraph, (h) The Mirror, (i) The Metro, (j) The Age, (k) The Huffington Post Canada (l) Fab Sugar Interestingly, it was The Guardian who really hit the ball out of the stadium in terms of nonsense about Kate's appearance. Oh The Guardian, what have you become? Found any even sillier quotes about Kate n' Will's post birthing style? Let me know in the comments!
8 years ago